inexactitude: (You know I've been thinking about this)
Olive Penderghast ([personal profile] inexactitude) wrote2011-06-08 02:08 pm

☮ | 001 | Video

[Olive situates the camera, sitting at her desk and peering over her shoulder at her room. There are some clothes visible on the floor peeking out from behind her bed, and on the floor is what looks like a bunch of little red pieces of cloth. It's hard to tell that they're A's.

Olive smiles, and scratches the back of her neck.]
So this is kind of weird. I keep thinking my parents are about to walk in. But no, it's just a crazy, kind of creepy boat hallway outside. So. No worry about that, I guess.

[Pause. She runs a hand through her hair uncomfortably, then laughs. It's kind of forced and lame.]...Well this is awkward. So, uh, hi, my name's Olive. Penderghast, for what it's worth. Aaaand I'm a new warden here. On your boat. Of the Damned, or whatever you guys call it. You'd think a giant ship sailing through outer space would have a title a little more, I don't know...flamboyant? Than 'The Barge.'

Right, so, questions. This thing does filters, right? Like friends lists on livejournal and facebook and blogspot? Oh and private stuff, it does that too, right? Hang on, I think I found--

[Private]

[Yes, she found the function, awesome. She waves at the camera. Pauses. Scratches the back of her head. Makes a face and bobs her head to an absent beat.] I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine... Oh my God, that song is going to be in my head for the rest of - I'm talking to myself. That's a good sign.

[Public again!]

Never mind! Got it. Totally. Under. Control. [She even makes a smooth hand gesture.]

Next question! These warden Item...things. Are they usually, uh. Weird and varied objects? [Muttered:] Or am I just reeeaaally lucky.

Man, this is just like blogging. Except, people almost never reply to my blog - but, you know. Don't let holding to traditional norms stop you.

[And added some time later:] One more question, and points if you can tell me this, but who knows what a lemon squeeze and/or melon grab is?

Because the writer just looked it up out of sheer curiousity.

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[he rubs at his eyes]

...Jesus fucking christ. They're getting younger every month.

worstsongever: (heretofore known as Superslut)

Encylcopedia Dramatica was the best I got. :|

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-08 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
So I shouldn't be expecting a population of my peers? [She sounds. Kind of excited about this.]

It's on urban dictionary.com xD

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 09:30 pm (UTC)(link)
No.

[quiet laugh]

Did you want one?
worstsongever: (You know I've been thinking about this)

...that is what I meant. Why did I not type that. xp

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-08 09:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Not really, not really. I'm actually quite all right being the odd girl out.

It's okay. We love you anyway and it's probably on ED.

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
You'll fit in fine here.

[pause] are you serious about wanting an answer to that question?
worstsongever: (Wow that sounds ridic)

Probably. XD <3

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-08 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[dot dot dot, you can see the thoughts in her head.] Yes?

; Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[is marking this private]

You tell anyone I told you this... [threat unspoken]

It's The act of placing one's hand on the female breast and then rotating it alternately clockwise then anti-clockwise over the nipple

Or...


Goddamnit why am I telling you-



There. You have your answer.
worstsongever: (Holy shit what just happened.)

; Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-08 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Silence, yeah, got it. [Stare. Welp. Okay then.] That seriously gets a name? That sounds completely unnecessary.

Re: ; Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[he nods] silence.


You'd be surprised. I'm-

I was a cop. I've heard all kinds of crazy shit.
worstsongever: (heh.)

; Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-08 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I bet. I'm in high school, all I get is the stupid shit.

Was?

Re: ; Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Welcome to the boat. [he smirks] high school with adults.


Yes. Was.

I'm an inmate.
worstsongever: (Wow that sounds ridic)

Re: ; Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-08 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
...I should probably decide how awful that's going to be, huh.

Oh. Uh. Can I ask why?

; Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
It'd be smart.

[he licks his lips] Probably best if you don't. Typical cop things that cops can do wrong.
worstsongever: (Wow that sounds ridic)

; Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-08 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Are we talking Rodney King typical, or what?

Re: ; Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-08 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Rodney King typical.

[he's beginning to wonder if this conversation was a bad idea.]
worstsongever: (You're a little bit weird. No judgement.)

; Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-09 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Un. Sure.] Oh. Well...At least you know it was wrong?

Re: ; Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-09 01:49 am (UTC)(link)
One of the things you're going to have to realize here, is that a lot of people don't know it's wrong.

But in my case. Yes. I knew it was wrong.

[He just doesn't care.]
worstsongever: (Holy shit what just happened.)

Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-09 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
...I'll keep that in mind. Uh. Thanks. Who are you?

Re: Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-09 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
Det-

Mark Hoffman.

Just call me Hoffman please.
worstsongever: (lol what)

Re: Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-09 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
Sure thing, Hoffman. Uh, call me Olive, Penderghast is kind of a mouth full.

Re: Private

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-06-09 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
Olive.


What brings you here?

worstsongever: (Do you even know that verse)

Re: Private

[personal profile] worstsongever 2011-06-09 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
You know. Wardening and all that. [EVERYONE THINKS SHE HAS STDS AND IS SLEEPING WITH THE ENTIRE SCHOOL AND D:]